Don't excuse yourself by saying,
"Look we didn't know."
For God understands all hearts, and He sees you.
He who guards your soul knows you knew.
He will repay all people as their actions deserve.
Proverbs 24:12







Saturday, February 23, 2013

Circle of Influence - a lesson from Vashti in Esther 1


I am doing a study with several women on the book of Esther.  We are all going at our own pace but trying to share what we learn.  I'm stuck on chapter one.  :) 

One of the huge blessings you have in reading a chapter over and over again is the lessons that come to light during that time.  That is, if we don’t allow the words to become familiar during those readings.   During my reading on one of those days, I asked God to show me one more thing about Vashti.  I mean, she was put in this book for a reason.  There had to be more to learn from her right? Not to mention, her punishment seemed so harsh.  I always wondered why.  Don’t get me wrong, I get that she disobeyed the King.  But to be banished and stripped of her crown?  I don’t know, maybe it’s me being a softy, not sure I would have been so harsh.  Guess, that’s why I wasn’t born during that time as a King or a King’s advisor? ;)

After reading Esther 1 again, the words, “Xerxes ruled over 127 provinces”  jumped out at me.  As I continued to read,  these words also jumped out at me, “Vashti has done wrong, not only against the king but also against all the nobles and the peoples of all the provinces of King Xerxes. For the queen’s conduct will become known to all other women and so they will despise their husbands and say, ‘King Xerxes commanded Queen Vashti to be brought before him, but she would not come.’…..  That’s when it hit me… Vashti had a great big circle of influence.  When she refused the request of her king, she did so in front of how many quests within her own party?  Weren't these women representatives of the 127 provinces?

 Her influence was not just within the castle walls.  It didn’t stop at the palace gates nor the city limits.  It extended to the far reaches of her husband’s kingdom.  She had great influence over the people within ear shot.  I focus on the ones within ear shot because they were the ones that would share what she does or doesn’t do.  We don’t know how many times she (if) refused his request before this night but this night was NOT the night to do it once again.  Xerxes had no other choice but to ask for help in how to deal with her.  She again, not only embarrassed him by refusing him but humiliated him in front of what I imagine to be representatives and their spouses from 127 provinces. 

As I thought about Vashti’s circle of influence, I started to think about mine.  How big it has gotten.  I was fine with mine being within the confines of my “palace”.  You know the five people that I interact with in on a daily basis (normally).  Since moving here, my circle of influence has grown.  It’s now a neighborhood.  A community of people who actually interact with each other quite often.  It’s other home schooling families.  It’s other women who know the Lord.  Others who do not.  My circle of influence went from a small group of men and women plus their families to a number greater than I ever imagined and their families when my man was promoted.  What I say and do is watched very carefully.  I can’t just say what I want in the way that is flippant anymore.  I have people watching ME.  Wondering how I will react to a woman cussing me out on facebook because she doesn’t like the fact that I called her out on a lie in private.  They are watching me in how I deal with the news of a death, calling to congratulate someone on the birth of their baby.  Will I send thank you cards?  Will I attend and or support a fundraiser from one of our groups?   Much less the other 5 groups?  The list goes on and on.  Then there’s my small number of friends (compared to others) on facebook.  Some of whom I don’t know and will probably never meet in person.  Yet, they are a part of this circle of influence.  What am I saying that will be a blessing or a curse to them?  Am I causing them to stumble? Or am I helping to pick them up off of the ground because they have fallen and need a helping hand? Am I using it as a stage for manipulation? Or a stage to promote God’s heart?  Then there are those that come into our lives for just a brief moment.  You know the ones…  They are the ones we meet in line at the grocery store, movie theatre, gas station.  The ones that we can give a smile to, ask how is your day, pay and move on.  The stranger that passes us as we are walking in to get a cup of coffee, order a meal, drop off a package at the nearest post office.  The ones we think we can’t impact and yet, with our smile, a simple question of "how is your day really?" comments, and say a silent prayer for them to be blessed by the One above.  then there are those of you who stop by here, by choice, by chance and read these words typed on this page.  We influence every single person without even realizing it.  Because of our kindness, we might just give them a sigh of relief that we are not all the same.  That it’s not all about us.

I’ll be honest and say, some of this has weighed on me as I have thought about it.  My circle of influence went from 5 people to way bigger in a blink of an eye.   Several years ago, God spoke to my heart about being watched.  That even when I think I am safe, I am being observed.  When I think no one knows me, I am being watched.  People are observing me.  In the way I deal with my children.  The way I worship in church.  Is my attitude right when I deal with the cashier who is grumpy and so am I?  Do I share a smile even if I've been waiting for that parking space and someone else whips in (there have a been a couple of times I have wanted to pull a Fried Green Tomatoes moment - you may be younger and faster but I have more insurance moment).  That’s our circle of influence.  What I do and say to the person I am sitting with while having lunch, others are watching me.  Hearing my conversation.  When I stop to have a conversation with an acquaintance in the commissary, others are overhearing my conversation.  Is it gossip? Frustration? Anger? Sadness? Or is it uplifting? Me praying? Praising God? Funny? Encouraging?

This is a HUGE responsibility that has been placed upon us.  Friends, we have been faithful with little and now have been given much.  Our words have power to influence others to do right or wrong.  I have had a quick reminder of that in the last month being a wife.  As the wife of a soldier, I have been given great responsibility in leading these spouses during this time.  What I say and do reflects not only upon me, but my husband.  How I deal with the spouse cussing me out, speaks volumes to those who are watching.  Will I respond in the same manner or say something that will bless her regardless?  I can’t always go with my first instinct.  It’s not to bless let me just tell you.  But what I can do is lean on God to show me the way.  I always want to be the crown upon my husband’s head.  I want him to know that he can trust me to help him lead his people well.  Not ever to embarrass him but to stand beside him- his helpmeet.
I ask you to think about your circle of influence and how you are using it.  The responsibility is great and one we need to be mindful of.
 
STWTHE,
Laurie

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