The time is near

To step out once again, not knowing what the LORD has in store. A year ago, I didn't know why I had gone to a conference about orphans, I knew what my plan was, and of course it had nothing to do with God's plan. He planted a little girl so deep in my heart that a year later, I'm still waiting to have the opportunity to be her mama as the doors have been closed for now. Soon, we'll be waiting a year for the second little angel that God placed in our hearts the desire to be mama and papa to as well. So hard to believe and yet here we are, waiting, waiting, waiting. We've said we would wait forever for them and that still rings true. At this year mark, as we wait, ABBA Father, has me going on another trip. Even further away for a much longer time. I have found myself asking Him why? Because the truth is I just don't know why He has chosen this path now for me to walk. It is not great timing and yet, he has worked every detail out. The funds aren't there, and yet every penny is being provided for even now, in this late hour. The excitement is there and so is the fear. My heart is torn between going and not going but because I have had many pray that I would have a fear of the LORD, I go. Please dont get me wrong! I WANT TO GO! I'm just not sure why I am going. I have nothing special to offer these people. I have no special skills. I do have a desire to and a want to bless the people I come into contact with. I want to share the love of Jesus. I want to serve them so they know that Jesus sees them. Loves them. So they know they aren't forgotten. Or unseen. Or worthless. But I also know there's something more that I'm suppose to see. Something very important. Something I just don't want to miss. Again, I know what I want and think and have "planned" for. I know, I've made my plans but God will order my steps. I pray I have set my expectations aside and have made much room for God to move in the way He wants. None of this probably makes sense. Knowing me these days, it's a lot of rambling and nonsense. All I know is that I am on a journey that I dont want to miss any part of. I'm afraid I already have. I pray that God in His grace and mercy will give me another opportunity to see those things I have missed and help me grab hold of them so very tightly so I don't ever forget! I pray that our girls are safe, healthy, and being cared for by loving arms. I pray for their birth parents and I pray for the people that I get the opportunity to meet in just a few days. I thank God for each of you that has helped to send me. I thank God for you who have said prayers on my family's and my behalf. I pray that whatever part you have played in sending me, that it comes back to you a hundred fold! May God bless you and keep you, may His face shine upon you as you walk towards the I AM. STWTHE, Laurie