Today's the last day of 2012. I know. BIG SHOCKER!!!! I wish I had a coherent post to post that would bring forth wisdom and understanding and be oh so profound. The truth is, I've got nothing. So many things have changed over this past year that I'm not sure I've comprehended all of them myself. Life has been this constant ebb and flow this year. The tides have come and wiped out most of what I've known only to have to rebuild. Thankful for the strong foundation that remained. My priorities have been reevaluated. Many things have been removed for the sake of preservation. Though some of those things feel like my right arm has been lobbed off. Others feel like the weight of the world were removed from my shoulders. Bringing forth a wonderful sense of freedom.
Yet, I find myself in the middle of struggling with what to do next. There has been a HUGE awakening in me and in so many of my friends. Yet, none of us has been in a place of being able to go and do. Not in the way we want to. I feel like we are in the waiting place. Exactly where we need to be as we seek direction and discernment. There are many who will benefit from our patience as we wait and decide the best course of action. My life isn't conducive to making BIG changes right now. I know, contradictory to the fact that we are adopting. But that's one of the reasons bigger changes can't happen. What can happen is me doing small things to me to help make what are BIG changes in another's life.
As I look back on this past year, remembering the things that have happened. My trip to Ethiopia, the people I've loved and lost, friendships gone, new ones made, saying good-bye once again to a city that I have a love- hate relationship with. Starting over once more. Saying yes to a little boy on the other side of the world. Praying for his safety. Trying to adjust to a new life that is making me busier than I could ever imagine. Trying not to fall back into the life of excess as I remember the lives that barely survive from day to day. Crying over little ones who have no family to call their own and trying to figure out how to have a bigger, louder, more effective voice to bring awareness and hopes of a family to them. Remembering that today is all I have and to savor the moments with my children, husband and friends. Falling under judgment for the way we choose to live our lives and not judging others for theirs. Or getting offended because they are vocal and hurtful for our choices.
2012 has been interesting. Hard. Fun. Full of love. Smiles. Giggles. Thankfulness. Abundance. Generosity. Sadness. Mourning. Dancing. Certainly, there are things I might have changed about it if I could. Overall, it was a great year. I have no idea what 2013 holds for me and my family. But this I know, GOD can take it and do with it as he pleases as we continue to obey and move in the direction he points and calls us to. This next year will be more about obeying and less about excuses for me. That's my hope anyway. Obedience is my word for 2013. Not asking the why questions but first time obedience. When he says to move, I need to go. Not think. Not pray and see if this is really what he's saying but Go. Do. Be. Trust. I can't go wrong when I trust in him and his word. He is faithful. Sovereign. Just. Merciful. Full of Grace. He has gone before me to make my paths straight. Even when all I see is a very narrow and crooked path. His word says he never leaves us nor forsakes us. So, here we go.
Good-bye 2012! Hello 2013! May it be filled with his glory, his passion, his love.
STWTHE,
Laurie
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