Workmanship

Oh my goodness!  The great paper chase is on!  I laughed when our friends have said this when doing all of the paperwork for their adoptions but now I really GET it.  Seriously?  I mean you are filling out the same EXACT information twelve times over?  Lol.  So amazed at the lack of stream lining that can be done to make the adoption process that much more efficient.  I'm even laughing at us having to do two different medical reports.  And all of the background checks!  Really?!  I get why, so please don't get angry with me for that.  But being a military family, having moved and lived in five (thank you LORD Jesus for having us bounce back and forth between two!) different states to contact and pay for the checks NOT to be released to us.  Thankfully, we are not worried about what they will say.  Again, just amazed!  Laughing all the way to the ATM to withdraw all that has been saved.  Praising God for this little man's life as he is so worth it!  Seeing his sweet little face, hearing his feet run up and down the stairs with his big brothers!  I am ready!

I almost cry at those three words.   I. Am. Ready.  You see, for me they are powerful.  For me, it means, I have healed from the sadness of the other three that didn't happen.  I realized recently that those three adoptions that didn't happen (no, not because we were denied but because two found other forever families and one, we just aren't sure of) are likened to miscarriages.  There was a sense of loss there.  A real sadness.  But now, there is a glimmer of hope.  I don't want to get my hopes up to high as anything can happen between now and actually traveling to see and meet him, yet, I feel it.  A longing.  A missing of something that I didn't even know I was missing.  A piece of our family puzzle that's just not here yet.  It's an odd feeling to have this ache in your heart for a child you have never met.  To have felt it before and will never hold that child this side of heaven.  Then to have this roaring lion come bursting out of your chest for a child that you never felt move in your womb.  Spend an extensive amount of time pushing to bring into this world.  Never to know his first cries. To soothe his sadness.  To hold close and have him fall asleep on your chest.  To listen to his heart beat or feel his sweet breaths on your cheek.  I never thought I'd miss those things in his first four years of life but i do.  So strange.  So foreign.

Currently, I'm studying the book of Ephesians.  In chapter two in verse 10, Paul says,"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."  (KJV) Did you know that that word, workmanship means masterpiece, work of art?  Do you realize that that's what we are is a masterpiece in our own right because that's how he made us and yet we are still part of his work of art as a whole?  I've been thinking about everything that has happened in the last several years and what a mess it looks like to me but what a beautiful piece of art, a masterpiece it looks to the Father who sees it from above.  Who sees the whole picture.  I've been thinking about those the world has cast out, who live in orphanages, who the world says don't matter, but the Father sees as masterpieces.   I pray that ALL of our children will see themselves as the Lord sees them.  I pray that they will know that ABBA created them just the way he did so that it reflects what the master artist was trying to convey to the world.  I pray the they know that I AM knew exactly what he was doing when he gave them that "flaw" in the world's view but was what makes them unique to and for his purpose.  Because he prepared it all beforehand so that we would walk in them.  Not check the box but walk in them.  Walk in HIS footsteps as we try to immulate his will in our lives and those whom he has chosen us to cross paths with.

The hardened heart of yesterday has been circumcised to make this work of art more to his liking.  To bring forth a lioness to fight for a child she's never known but is coming to love.  I don't know him.  I don't know his personality.  I know what the world says, but never will he be those labels to me.  To us.  He is God's work of art that will be part of our gallery.  His glorious workmanship will be on display cherished and loved for the world to see.  I won't have four priceless pieces of art but five that  God chose just for us. For this time.  Preordained to walk in their calling. His perfect will in their lives.

STWTHE,
Laurie