Home from Ethiopia

I'm home from Ethiopia. It was a long 16 days. Emotional. Trying at times. I found that so many of us don't know that we matter. That we have value. That we are worth so much more than the perceptions of others. That the expectations we try to live up to are often times way to high for even those who are setting the height of those expectations.

I guess that's why I love the Ethiopian people. They don't have those same expectations. If I sag in areas, it's ok. If I gain a few pounds, it doesn't matter. If I lose a few, no problem. All that's wanted from me is a hug and a kind word. A warm smile. A whisper of I love you as we say good-bye. Not even a promise of I'll see you again. All that's wanted is for me to be right here in the moment as we talk, laugh and cry. Not to worry about tomorrow but be fully alive in the here and now.

With each travel day, I found a piece of me I didn't know I had. With each moment that past, I found myself growing in ways I never thought I could. Never imagining that God would be using these trips to my advantage much less His. But, even as I sit here, being home for a mere 17 hours, back in the states for 30 hours, I see the dots being connected in preparation for the next phase in life. I know my God is good. His plans are good and perfect. I can trust him fully with all that he has planned and my deepest hopes, dreams and desires.

I hope to share about my trip as I process this one. I think it may be easier to share this time around as it was a much different experience than my first trip. Still powerful and life changing experience. But oh so different in every way.

For now, I will just say, it was amazing. Sweet! Sad. Glorious. Maddening. Different. Full of growth. Eye opening. Heart opening.

If you are being asked to go- say yes! It's so worth it

STWTHE,
Laurie

Letting love in

The days flew by while in Ethiopia. To be honest, my first few days, I didnt think I would make it through two weeks of climbing mountain sides to visit mamas. Hearing their stories broke my heart and yet I wouldn't allow myself to get emotional or feel much. I needed to be clinical and yet, that wasn't working. The moment we would walk into a home that was 1/3 the size of my living room, that housed 5 people in one room, I couldn't escape my selfishness. My need for things to make me complete. I was ashamed as I thought of my excess and their need. Beginning with the first mama that we visited, God kept whispering,"Let love in.". I hadn't realized how much I was holding back from these ladies. Letting love in would mean I would have to allow their story to get personal. To really touch my heart. Was that even possible?


I think the first day we visited 14 mamas. My "job" was to document their story. To write it all down. As much detail as possible. This wasn't about me and as soon as I got that deep in my soul, I was able to see more. Hear more. See behind the surface things these ladies wanted us to hear and start seeing the truth. Though they were not verbalized. What I saw was pain. Humiliation. Desperation. Bits of hope, though for some, hope was fading quickly. I saw so much beauty in these women. All I wanted to do was grab hold of them and tell them that they weren't failures for the things that happen. Just because their husbands were te.fa (gone) didn't make them unworthy. They were qo.n.jo (beautiful). It would not have been a lie. It would have been a truth they so needed to hear and know.

Letting love in. That is one of the hardest things to do in this world. So much hurt happens. Forgiveness sometimes comes in layers. What we often think is love is something that is far less. Letting love in means giving of yourself. No holds bar. Giving all of yourself without holding back. Without wanting something in return. Isn't that what Jesus did for us? Isn't this what God was asking me to do for these ladies? Letting love in - that was what was happening with each step up a steep hill. Each step took me to a new place, a new level that would allow me to feel for this woman who just needed a little encouragement. Even after falling, scraping my knee, twisting my ankle, I wouldn't allow my pain to overshadow the hearing of their stories. Oh, don't get me wrong! I wanted to quit. I cried because it hurt. I wanted to be done with this trip. It was the hardest thing I think I've ever done and we were only on day TWO! I'd much rather have given birth naturally 4 times again than take one more step up a mountainside. But soemthing welled up inside of me. Maybe part of it was pride. Being the oldest member of the team and the least in shape may have been part of it, but I'd like to believe it was because I had the anointing of the Lord on me at this point, and knew he had entrusted me with a voice for these women.

So we bandaged me up, grabbed a coke along with a quick rest and moved on out to visit more mamas. By the end of the day, I was tired. I was still hurting. I was heartbroken. I was sad. Yet, I was happy and very thankful for the opportunity to get a glimpse into the lives of these women and their families. I knew I was doing what God asked me to do, LET LOVE IN.


STWTHE,
Laurie

First impressions

We all know that first impressions are important. They can open doors that can take you on an adventure or close them to great possibilities. I don't give great first impressions so I really try hard not to base people off of this one meeting. Some days you are having an off day so that impression is not so great, and some give great first impressions and you find that they really aren't all that.


But Ethiopia. My first impression was NOTHING that I expected and a whole lot more! I never expected to walk off the plane and feel her arms embrace this girl from Texas like a long lost daughter. To feel the kisses on my cheeks from this mama I'd never met before was such a sweet moment. Ethiopia! The home I'd longed for for so long. I remember as we were driving through the city of Addis, thinking, "I wont feel this way in just a few days. This is new. Exciting. I'm really here." As the days started to pass, I kept waiting for the awe, the comfort of home, the feeling of belonging to fade. But they didn't. If anything, the intensity of that first meeting kept growing. I would stare out the window as we drove from place to place thanking God for the peace of being in this country. For the opportunity to meet some amazing people. I still wasnt sure why I was on this trip. I just knew for the first time, in a long time, I felt alive. One of the things said on this trip was that there was an awakening happening in us. I have to agree with that statement. Now, PLEASE HEAR ME! I LOVE MY FAMILY! I love being mom and wife. I know that is my first ministry. I'm not good at either of them but those two things are the things that God placed in my lap first and I take them very seriously. But to know you were created for something else and to find the place where you fit, it awakens your spirit. It gives you new purpose. Because the truth of it all is, at some point I will have an empty nest. My kids will all be grown (Bella will be gone in as soon as a few short years) and then what? Please know, I'm not making excuses for my journey either. I just know this is a seed God planted at least 5 years ago, has watered in different ways and now is cultivating it in a very big way.

Ethiopia. An amazing country. Amazing people. Amazing team. I was told I might leave a part of my heart there. Well, I most definetly did so. It's hard coming home knowing that part of me was left behind. A big part.

STWTHE,
Laurie

Just added tiles 10-19 on the Scrabbel necklace page.  So take a look and see if any of these would like to find a home around your neck  =0)  or check out the  new KID STUFF tab and see the new things going up there.  This is all funding my trip to Ethiopia!!!  That is if I can finish raising my funds.  If you don't want anything but would still like to help, there is a donate button as well. 

Have a glorious day in the LORD.

STWTHE,
Laurie

6 Weeks

So, it's 6 Weeks out from travel and I am NO WHERE near having the money to go to Ethiopia.  I'm working as hard as I can as fast as I can to make purses.  I've sent out letters.  I'm begging people to share my links.  I'm handing out business cards.  I'm carrying around some of my bags.  A Scentsy Fundraiser.  I'm doing everything I can think of to raise money.  Some of it, I'm doing in my own strength. Some of it, I think is totally God.  But when I think of all of the women who need this money more than I do, I just weep.  I read a guest post last night on my friend Steffany's blog.  It really made me stop and think.  You can read that HERE.

This is what went swirling through my head.  1 in 11 women die in E. Africa due to pregnancy related causes.  Those are just numbers to all of us.  It's sad.  It's in E. Africa.  It's across the ocean.  How does it affect me?  As I sat sewing one of the bags last night, God showed me something.  He showed me faces of 11 mamas that I personally know.  He showed me Karla, Suzy, Steffany, Holly, Gwen, Julee, Monika, Lorraine, Amy, Deanna, and Jessica.  He said,"Now, Laurie, all of these women have children.  Some are young kiddos, some are older.  What would happen to their child(ren) if ONE - you choose the ONE- died while giving birth to their youngest or only child?  What if their husband wasn't around for some reason?   What if a family member couldn't take that child in?  What if that child had become an orphan the moment he/she came into this world? "  I sat there and let this all mull around in my head.  I sat there and thought (as I pricked my fingers over and over and over while drawing blood on some of those pricks) about each of those children.  Between the 11 families I thought about there are approximately 50 kids.  FIFTY!!!!!  Fifty kids that wouldn't have a mama if these statistics were true here in the U.S.  If each of these mamas were the one in 11.  Would we take notice then?  Would we be moved to action then?  If it were your best gal pal- what would you do?  Would you move heaven and earth to go and provide for her life to be saved so that SHE could raise her children?  The answer for me has become a yes. 

I want to go to Ethiopia.  There is no doubt in that.  I'm not going to lie and say anything different.  I can't give you a clear answer as to why except that I do believe this is a TOTAL God thing.  But what I want more is for these mamas to have sterile birthing kits.  To have an ambulance that will take them from point A to point B in less than an hour instead of having to be hog tied to a branch and carried 5 hours to the nearest hospital in the hopes of saving mother and child.  What I want is for mama to raise her babies.

No, I don't think this will solve the orphan crisis.  I don't pretend to believe that at all.  What I do believe is that we can do SOMETHING to help to not add 50 (or 25 million)  more children to it.  When you hear the men say,"Save our women" as what was told to Steffany, don't you think we should move into action?  What can you do to help?  One is to send me.  If you don't want to purchase anything, I do have a donate button on the side bar.  If you don't want to help me out, that's ok.  If I'm suppose to go, I will go.   HERE is a list of needs for BEMM.   Would you consider donating to BEMM.org for any of the items listed or towards the ambulance that is needed to help save these mamas and their babies?  Or (shameless plug here) HOW 'BOUT ALL THREE? =0)

BTW, I just put up two new bags this morning and will hopefully have one more by the end of the day.  So, check back.  There are still many scrabble tile necklaces available and if one has sold that you like and you don't see one like it available, send me a message and I might be able to get one made like it.  Thanks for stopping by.  For reading and thinking and praying about what it is God would have you do.  Blessings for a beautifully God inspired day.

STWTHE,
Laurie

ETHIOPIA or bust!

Most of you probably won't notice the changes but some may. I'm making a few changes due to my fundraising for my mission trip to Ethiopia with Because Every Mother Matters. I've added a donate button on the side bar for anyone who would like to help me raise the $3000 to go love on some mamas, help build some stuff, restock a clinic and hike up and down a mountain that is apparently pretty steep to go into a remote region of Ethiopia. :) For those who would like something for that donation, I'm still making purses (I have removed the bags and fabric pages) and have a few that I have not put up on here as of yet. I will be posting soon - I hope. What you see is what will be available. I also have a friend who is helping me by doing a Scentsy fundraiser through the month of August. She will not place the order until Aug. 30th. The cool thing about this is, most of the products are 10% off this month. There are a few things that are not and they asterisked, but other than that, it's on sale! So will you go here? This will bless both she and I.

I'm thinking of a few ways to raise the funds to go. So, yes, this is a shameless plea for help. Help in spreading the word. Help financially. For prayer. For ideas. Im open to just about anything!

Y'all, I REALLY REALLY want to go. I didn't have any idea how bad until I was talking about it with my husband and tears came to my eyes at just the prospect of going or not going. It's scary to think about leaving my family for several days and being across the world in a foreign land and yet, my heart longs to go in such a way that I have no words to describe. To see, smell, work, play, laugh, eat alongside these people. To have an opportunity to come back and share all that I have experienced and really get the word out. To impact just one life. Most importantly, to share the love of Jesus with these people. I want to be HIS hands and feet. I want to see the world through His eyes.

With just the purses, I have to sale at least 200 purses. I have sold two. I'm willing to do this but I NEED your help.

BTW, any monies raised above what I need will go straight to BEMM to help in providing the birthing kits, stocking the clinic, buying the ambulance for the village of Mayera. However, they deem necessary to use the money.

Again, thank you for your support.

STWTHE,
Laurie