So, I left off with God speaking to me about money. How I finally realized that my worth was not about how much my dad loved me by how much he gave me. No, I found my worth, the love that I truly desired through the One who could give me so much more. Who died on the cross for me. It was a relief to finally get that through my thick skull. Please allow me to say this and hear my heart! I never thought that others in my life: mom, siblings, grandparents, husband, kids, friends, etc.. didn't love me because of what they did or didn't give me monetarily. This was strictly from a father -daughter perspective. Had a lot to do with dad not being around at all and how he dealt with things between he and I before he died. Money was his way of showing me that he did and his way of making up for not being a real dad. Somehow, I translated that into God's love for me or lack thereof for me.
When I had registerd for the T4A conference, just about every break out session I wanted was filled to capacity. I was disappointed but soon took on the attitude that whatever session I was registered for was exactly where God wanted me. I was good with that. I did have hopes of meeting some of the authors of the blogs I read but really didn't think that would happen as I am not one to just approach anyone. Espescially those I admire and give a bit of "celebrity" status to. You see, they are celebrities in my world :)
As the conference date approached, I was trying to find every reason not to go. I couldn't figure out why I was suppose to be there. We aren't adopting for a few more years. We aren't in a church where orphan care is a priority or even on the radar to start. So my mind kept going to the reasons not to go: Couldn't afford it, was driving X amount of hours by myself, you name it, I was thinking of it as an excuse not to go. Little did I know, God had a plan. He made it to where a friend who lives a couple of hours away needed a ride otherwise, she couldn't go. So, we decided to head down together. This is when I started really praying about what God had in store for me. To put me in the path of those He wanted me to meet. Learn what He wanted me to learn through the break out sessions He chose for me.
The day came to start our journey, we hit some snags in the road and got to Austin much later than we had expected but that was a God thing once again. We got to the hotel, checked in and went on over to another room so we could meet up with some of the other attendees. This is where I started to see God's hand in this. Mrs. P. knocked on the door, it opened and my mouth dropped and I think my eyes bugged out.
We stand there and look at each other for a moment, then Mrs.P. mentions we are looking for Julee and Angel. The woman standing at the door says, "I don't know who you are..." and being the rude girl I am says,"But I know who you are... Lorraine Patterson!!!!" Yes, I was excited. I was dumbfounded because this is one of the ladies I wanted to meet. I introduced myself (thinking she won't know who I am - Lorraine being the gracious TX gal that she is, said she remembered my name) and Mrs. P. Mrs. P. goes into another room, Lorraine and I start to talk and she informs me that Mrs. Amy Block is asleep in the bed in the same room. What?!!! First of all, she was asleep with the noise we were making - ok it was probably my fault because I was so excited but I couldn't help it. Yet, here was another lady I wanted to meet at this thing!!!! I was and still am so excited about meeting these ladies. And yes, you can laugh at me all you want because I am excited to meet two women that are just like you and me. Real women. People who live out their lives for the LORD the best that they know how. Oh, how I wish I could say I do it as well as these two women and so many more that I met last weekend. They'd probably all tell you that they fail miserably but let me tell you, they are authentic and Jesus exudes from them and that goes a long way in my book.
Unfortunately, I am having to cut this a bit short today. Or maybe it's a good thing. I've been trying to upload a picture and I haven't figured that part out yet on this thing. So... Stay tuned. We hope to be sharing BIG NEWS with you very soon!!!!
Seeing the World Through His Eyes,
Laurie
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