The day I knew!

Meeting several of my bloggy heroes was cool. Sharing with Lorraine, Amy and Angel about how Chrissie (Lorraine's Serbian Sensation who got to go home and sit in Jesus's lap a lot sooner than the rest of us) affected and impacted our life. Mine as a mom and our family as a whole. You see, I had forgotten how to go before the throne boldly and ask the LORD to intervene for my family. I had forgotten that God hears the cries of a mother even when things are bleak and tiresome. Through Chrissie, God reminded me of just that. He used her to water some seeds that had been planted not quite 4 years ago at the time of her Heaven-coming. A few short weeks after that event, God would cultivate in me a new desire for more children and boy did that desire grow. He would speak to Bella about that same exact thing. More babies were needed in this house - of course not by her! He would start spurring me on to start advocating for the lost, the broken, the least of these. He would start to speak to me about using my voice for something other than idle chatter. He would start to move in me, shake me up and cause me to step outside of my comfort zone. Something I don't do easily. My sense of adventure has dissipated as I've reached my ripe ol' age of - yeah I'll leave that number alone.

God didn't use T4A to impact me to move globally. Not to motivate me to run back to my church and start an orphan ministry. Though believe me, I so wish there was a desire here for it. Makes me very sad but that's not where God was working on me. He was asking me if I would go if he told me where? He was asking me to say yes to what seemed impossible. He was asking me if I would do whatever it took to make a difference. He was telling me, us - my family, that we were ready. He was using the women I came into contact with to encourage me, sing with me, gently shove lead me towards the scariest place I've been so far. During a song written and song by Aaron Ivey called Amos Song, God was asking me these questions. With out thinking, I was singing a song I had never heard of, I was saying "YES, LORD I'll go!". Then the next minute thinking what was that all about? Then hearing Robert Gallinas, a pastor out of Colorado, speak about my life. Ok, maybe not my life but one that was parallel to his own. There were several things that perked my ears and made my heart beat slower. Where are your heat and money when it comes to orphans? Your heart nor money know the difference when it comes to them. The second thing was,"when God calls you to adopt and you say,'We can't afford it.' You are saying God is a deadbeat dad.". Talk about an OUCH! moment. During all of this, I started crying and couldn't stop for the life of me. I'm not talking about a little crying, I'm talking sobbing. I knew in that moment, I had to, we had to step out in faith. No money saved, sometimes making it from paycheck to paycheck kind of faith. I tried calling Kevin and couldn't reach him. So who did I run to? No, don't step back into the 80's and go all GhostBusters on me. ;) did i just date myself? I ran to some bloggy heroes and shared the news. They all looked at me as if saying "DUH!" but really said,"Yeah, we knew that." Huh?! What do you mean you knew that when I just found out? They were sweet and loving and encouraging to me the rest of that whole day. God used the women to speak to my heart, bless me with shoulders to lean on and a wealth of information to call upon when needed. I met some amazing ladies last weekend. Outspoken for Jesus, lovers of the lost, encouragers to run the best race God has to offer and to say it's ok to be afraid but not ok to do nothing and not trust God! So here's a shout out to those wonderful ladies that I met, cried with, prayed with, laughed with, and thanked God for as they shared with me one of the most beautiful days of my life: Lorraine, Amy, Angel, Carolyn, Dawn, Julie, Layla, Elizabeth, and I'm sure I'm forgetting someone but not meaning to. Just know that you are treasured and loved.

Seeing the World through His Eyes,
Laurie